July was our busiest month in Europe so far. We crammed in four vacations: the Netherlands, Belgium, Italy and Greece. Not bad for one month. It’s all part of my mission to see as much of Europe as we can before our inevitable departure. I may have to rethink my plans now that we’re exhausted and broke. Plus, our recent travels have opened my eyes to the less-than-appealing aspects of touring Europe…
Tip #1: Avoid trains outside of Switzerland.
I’m spoiled by the cleanliness and reliability of Swiss trains and public transportation. What should have been a quick train ride from Amsterdam to Bruges, turned into a long, tiring adventure. Delays and random stops in the middle of nowhere made for a miserable experience. I thought that Ken was going to self implode from stress every time the train came to a crawl during our journey. Mobs of people in the stuffy hot stations didn’t exactly help either. Luckily, Larry and Nina are traveling pros. They stayed fixated on their iPods and card games, leaving mom and dad free to do all the fretting for them.
Tip #2: Book transportation, then lodging!
I had always dreamed of vacationing in Greece and swimming in the clear blue waters of the Aegean Sea. I went to my trusty website, rentvillas.com, and found a lovely rental on a small island. Without hesitation I booked the villa. Then Ken made the travel arrangements.
Athens is technically about a two-hour plane ride from Basel - if you can get a direct flight. We couldn’t. If you want to go to one of the many Greek islands, you have to factor in the extra travel time and the logistics of getting there. We didn’t. Two airplanes, three taxis and one 5-hour ferry ride later, we finally reached our Greek island getaway. Was it worth it? Larry and Nina can answer that:
Tip #3: Take a nap or a Valium before you enter a Greek taxicab.
Part of our long travel day to Skopelos included an hour and a half cab ride from Athens to the port where we picked up our ferry. Now, I’m used to crazy driving. I am married to Ken after all. I just don’t enjoy entrusting my life to a driver who constantly has a cell phone glued to his ear while he’s zipping along the highway at speeds well above 80mph. Our Greek Indy 500 contender had not one, but three cell phones. All of which rang continuously throughout our journey. And did I mention that the seat belts didn’t work? Yes, a Valium would have been quite handy.
Tip #4: Don’t drive in Italy with four kids in the car and without a map. (Not that a map would have made much of a difference for me.)
During our recent trip to Italy, I volunteered to watch two other children while Ken and his friend were off attending work meetings. By the second day of my babysitting services, I was really looking forward to unloading four bickering kids who constantly loved yelling out, “We’re bored!” (My parents are probably enjoying this. “Payback’s a bitch,” my dad would say. Boy is he right.)
To alleviate the tension, I decided to visit a friend who was also staying in the Siena area. A day lounging around Angela’s pool with a glass of Chianti sounded heavenly. But as always, little disasters accompany me everywhere. I was supposed to follow a series of signs to get to the villa (located in a town so remote that even the GPS device couldn’t find it). Unfortunately, road signs in Italy come in two forms: none at all or twenty postings piled all together in one giant mess. Without a co-pilot, reading and driving are an impossible combination. As I slowed down to the speed limit to try to figure out where I was going, the other drivers had a fit.
What would you do if you encountered something that looks like this with 3 seconds to process it all?
It was hot, I was running low on gas, the GPS led me down two dead end dirt roads, and the four kids in the back kept tossing out their opinions, “Pull over and ask someone for directions,” “Why don’t you call dad,” “Go that way,” “Use the TomTom,” “Turn around,” and so on and so on. The ubiquitous childhood rant, “Are we there yet?” came into play too. Yes, I was in hell.
With all my driving fiascos you must be wondering, “Why does she keep getting into her car?” Well, if I didn’t face such catastrophes, I wouldn’t be able to soak in the rewarding moments like these:
Tip #5: Keep your eyes on the sidewalk.
All I’m going to say on this subject is that Pooper Scoopers are not popular in Amsterdam (or Paris). So step carefully!
Tip #6: Keep your eyes on the road.
In Amsterdam, there are more bike paths (or, as Ken calls them, “bike highways”) than sidewalks. In fact, there’s very little room for foot traffic in Amsterdam. Pedestrians, it would seem, are a nuisance. Sometimes we would be strolling down the street, only to find that the sidewalk had merged into a bike lane, or that the pedestrian zone disappeared entirely. After Larry had a few close calls, I feared one of us would certainly suffer an untimely and humiliating death by bicycle. So in addition to me screaming, “Poop!” (Remember tip #5?), the kids had to hear my frantic cries, “Watch out for the bike!” I wasn’t expecting a stroll down the street to be so stressful.
In Italy and Greece, my cyclist concerns were replaced by mopeds. Is there any safe place to walk with kids in Europe?
Tip #7: Get used to “hemorrhaging money”
That’s the phrase my expat friend uses when she talks about living in Europe. It’s true. Not only is everything expensive here, when you’re on vacation it’s even worse. I find it pretty hard to deny our kids the priceless thrill of buying souvenirs or partaking of paddleboat rides, horse drawn carriages, tour boats and other touristy modes of transportation. A loose wallet makes for many happy memories. And there are ample opportunities to make happy memories!
Those sly locals have found ways to profit on everything. In Bruges there are an assortment of museums to choose from: the french fry museum, the chocolate museum, the light museum and the diamond museum to name a few. We had to take the kids to the french fry museum. It’s not every day you get the chance to visit a place entirely dedicated to the history of fries. We also made a stop at the chocolate museum because mommy wanted to see the chocolate sculptures. (A life size chocolate Obama. Is that even PC?!)
Perhaps the most frustrating expense is the entry fee to just about everything. Even places that were once open to everyone now require tickets (the duomo in Siena, the Leaning Tower of Pisa, the Acropolis, etc.). If it’s famous, be prepared to pay.
Tip #8: Forget the diet.
While I do enjoy Swiss food, it does get tiring after a while. I can only eat so much paprika and hazelnut flavored cuisine. So when we travel I’m anxious to dig into all the wonderful local dishes. In Amsterdam we were wowed by the French fries, the mini pancakes covered in powdered sugar (served with a scoop of butter for good measure) and the selection of ethnic foods (Don't knock curry spaghetti until you've tried it!). Belgium lived up to its culinary reputation with amazing melt-in-your-mouth chocolate, crunchy perfectly cooked friets, and complex flavorful beers. Italy has its gelato and just about everything else that you can put in your mouth - all phenomenally delicious. But what’s most amazing to me is that wherever we go Nina seems to find the biggest sugary gastronomic delight possible. I thought “supersizing” was strictly an American concept.
Tip #9: Don’t eat outside in the summer on an island
Dining al fresco is highly overrated. At least on a Greek island it is. When we weren’t fighting off aggressive bees, we were swatting away flies and creepy giant beetle-like bugs. I didn’t mind so much when I witnessed a bee flying off with a small chunk of Larry’s hamburger (Bees like meat?), or the sight of its comrades viciously attacking my fish. But when Larry pointed out a giant black dead thing on my plate, I nearly had a heart attack. Staring down at a belly-up bug the size of a quarter with its stiff legs in the air put an abrupt end to dinner. Seeing another one of these creatures crawling on a neighboring diner’s back (then into her hair!) reinforced my desire to stay away from outdoor dining altogether. I am not a nature lover.
Tip #10: Pace yourself on the liquids (re-visiting the public peeing issue)
What I failed to mention in my last post was that in addition to funky restroom toilets, Europeans have another curious way to relieve themselves. It’s called the pissoir. Invented in France to deal with the problem of public urination, a pissoir is basically an outdoor bathroom stall without a toilet (and in most cases without a drain). Or quite simply, it’s a wall to walk behind while you pee on the pavement. I hear there are some in Basel (someone even devised a map to locate them), but I have yet to encounter one here. No, I had to go to Amsterdam and Bruges to experience that non-pleasure. If you have an easily offended nose as I, or if you don’t enjoy getting splashed, then take my advice and cross the street quickly when you see a pissoir – especially if it’s in use!
Tip #11: Accept that iffy accommodations are just part of the adventure
I returned from a day of sightseeing in Bruges to discover a dirty rag in our open suitcase. I was sufficiently repulsed and confused. Why would the hotel maid throw a cleaning towel in our luggage? The incident bugged me, but I didn’t dwell on it. Until, that is, we moved on to another hotel and we couldn’t find Ken’s swimsuit. Whether housekeeping inadvertently picked it up with the other soiled items that were presumably thrown on top of our belongings, or whether she found Ken’s swimsuit from Target too irresistible, we’ll never know. But next time, I’m keeping our bags sealed. (And I won’t forgive the hotel staff for subjecting the kids and I to the sight of Ken swimming in his underwear!)
In Italy, I was ready to chew out the farmhouse owner for the intermittent hot water in the shower, the lumpy beds, the poorly equipped kitchen and the mosquito infested rooms. But as we were packing up to go, the kind man with a warm smile handed us a bottle of his homemade wine and wished us a safe journey with his sincerest hopes that we would return. Gee, now I feel like an ass for wanting to complain.
IT’S ALL GOOD
I don’t mean to give the impression that our summer travels were a nightmare. On the contrary, in spite of all the minor snafus we had a terrific time taking in the amazing sights of Europe. Larry and Nina continue to be great travelers (when they’re not terrorizing each other) and they have a genuine interest in the places we visit. Swimming in the beautiful blue waters of the Aegean, standing atop the Acropolis in front of the Parthenon, listening to the kids discuss art at the Van Gogh museum, taking in the fairytale streets of Bruges, watching Larry and Nina get excited upon seeing the leaning Tower of Pisa, roaming the streets of Siena at night…We definitely feel lucky to have these opportunities. Maybe by the time Ken and I return to Berkeley, we will have mastered traveling without stress or scary surprises. Maybe.
Excerpts from Nina’s Journal:
“Comparing the local niceness between Basel and Amsterdam: Amsterdam is much nicer than Basel. If you’re on a boat ride on a canal, everyone will smile and wave to you. In Basel they would just look, then frown, and then walk away. Well there you go. Amsterdam is much nicer than Basel.” July 2, 2009
“I went to a really cool pet shop. [It was] so cheap. They had so many pets in different shapes, sizes and colors…It was an open market too. Things everywhere. It was excellent…Now that’s a good story. July 4, 2009 (Bruges, Belgium)
“Traveling by car is not so easy. First the packing, then the setting up the car. And long drives, I’ll tell you – bring a barf bag with you. If you don’t, you’ll see. And be sure to bring stuff to do when you’re bored. I do also like to look out the window too. Also, when you put your window down, the fresh air you breathe in is excellent! And don’t forget the sun.” July 12, 2009 (the ride to Italy)
Excerpts from Larry’s Journal:
“Nighttime is party time. I am in Amsterdam right now and having a great time. The most interesting part was Amsterdam at night…It was more crowded than I thought [it would be]. There were a lot of boats out on the canal. The bridges were lit up. At about 11:30 pm we went to the park. The restaurant nearby was having a PARTY! I thought that was weird. After the park we went home and I fell asleep. That was one of the best nights of my life.” July 2, 2009
“Clinky Clonky! Today I went on a horse ride around Bruges. We were on a carriage. I thought we were just gonna go around town but it was a tour. I was fine with that though. I got to see some parts of Bruges I have never been to....That was a horsetastic experience.” July 4, 2009
“Today I went to Mulhouse, France. We went to an electricity museum. We got to hold an electric ball and our hair would fly up. Everybody laughed. We also saw the Tour de France in Reiningue, France.” July 18, 2009
“Today I went snorkeling in the Aegean Sea. We saw a big school of fish…It looked so awesome.” July 27, 2009 (Skopelos, Greece)
[this is good] Hi!
Just finished reading about your summer travels, which sound trying but also worth every trial.
Posted by: jake fuchs | 08/08/2009 at 12:34 PM
[this is good] I nearly spit out my coffee imagining you reacting to a BIG UGLY BUG lying on your plate.
We miss you guys! We're planning the fall's progressive dinner -- wanna come back for a weekend?
Posted by: Michael Sippey | 08/10/2009 at 09:51 AM